"We have a choice: we can either live or exist."
Believe it or not, but I am tired of just existing. Based on social media you might think I live because of how much I travel. I went to Australia in September where I ate copious amounts of donuts, I scuba dived on the Great Barrier Reef and I saw the Sydney Opera House. I have my Europe trip planned for summer where I will return to London to see Ed Sheeran perform at Wembley Stadium and to experience Croatia and Budapest for the first time.
How can a girl that travels the world feel like she is just existing? Outside of traveling, I have been in a boring routine of working an unfulfilling job, watching Netflix and going to happy hour. However, I’m cautiously optimistic that I am in for change.
Most people know that I have not been fond of my job for quite a long while now. I love most of the people I work with but the job itself is not at all satisfying. Over the past six months I have submitted at least three dozen applications and completed a few interview processes. Most applications went unanswered. Two interviews made it to the second stage and no further. No one wanted to hire me. I just didn’t have the connections and experience necessary in today’s job market. That changed on Tuesday though when I was offered a new position and I accepted.
An amazing recruiter helped me on-and-off the past few months with a couple of positions and her perseverance and support helped me land a new job. I interviewed on Monday and less than 24 hours I had the offer. Tuesday was an incredibly chaotic day. I got the phone call with the offer while on a snack break with a friend and I had just a short time to decide if I was accepting the offer.
For now, I am employed through the staffing agency called Medix but if all goes well I will have the opportunity to be employed by Zoll Medical. I am going to be an Intake Specialist for their LifeVest wearable defrilibaltor. I will make more money, I will have a set schedule, and I plan to stay on part-time at the hotel so I can maintain my friendships and hotel discounts. During the interview I was asked how I gauge success. I told them the truth and said, “Success to me isn’t a big paycheck. I need to be fulfilled. And to be fulfilled at work I need to be engaged.” Only time will tell if I made the correct move, but I am excited for a new adventure.
Outside of work, I am trying to spend time with people that lift me up. Yes, that is stereotypical but I’ve always looked for intimacy in friendships. I’ve never been one for friend groups. Three or maybe four people are the most I can do in a “group.” I truly do best when relationships are one-on-one though. Where I can be myself without judgement and can trust that my secrets and fears are safe.
Also, I have just become more private in some ways and I think that is great. I am happy in my personal life and because of that I haven’t been posting on social media very much. I know I post a lot when I travel because I would want people to do the same. However, just in daily life, I haven’t had the need to be very active. I scroll through all my apps just as much as normal but I want to keep my happiness and such to myself. I’m afraid of sharing it all and letting the world ruin it. I post all over Snapchat but I looked on my Instagram account and in the past two months I have only posted nice times. Three of those were birthday messages. That is a big change for me and something I’ve done subconsciously. Personally, I know that when I post a lot on Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook I am lonely and just want people to talk to me. I want human interaction and engagement. I want approval and love through “Likes” and views. I’m just really lucky that right now, I have those “Likes” and views in real life so I don’t need to get them online.
So, I am only three months into my 25th year of life but I am loving it so far. I hope it continues as well as it started.
