When Hate Comes Knocking

I’m finally back in Pittsburgh. Back to my apartment. Back with Camden. Back in my neighborhood of Squirrel Hill.

Outside my window I see a cloudless blue sky. Camden is laying on the carpet in a patch of sunshine to warm himself. I hear cars passing below on Shady Avenue. Just over a mile away is the Tree of Life synagogue.

I can hop into my car and drive straight for 5 minutes and see it. I’ve driven past it countless times. The yellow traffic light turning to red has ordered me to stop at the intersection of Wilkins and Shady at least 100 times over the past 2 years. And that same traffic light will continue to tell me to stop when I head to Trader Joe’s for weekend groceries or when I drive back from Shadyside with a Prantl’s burnt almond travel torte in my passenger seat.

However, when I am stopped at that intersection now and I see the Tree of Life I know I will be overcome with emotions. That traffic light will cause me to stop and reflect on that terrible day for weeks and months and years to come.

I’ve cried every day since Saturday but I am not crying for myself. I am crying for my friends that feel the loss so deeply. I’m crying for my friend with her childhood home just a short stroll from the synagogue. I’m crying for my friends of the Jewish community that spent time at Tree of Life learning about faith and life. I’m crying for my friend who dreams of being a Pittsburgh Police Officer and who has met and spent time with some of the first responders. I’m crying for my friend who has seen her dad on international press conferences giving medical updates about the victims and who is providing patients with world-class medical and emotional care.

I’m aware that crying does not solve anything but it does help. I need to release my emotions and crying is the first step. The second step is to become involved. I was able to give a financial donation to the GoFundMe but I still wish to do more. I’m unable to donate blood because I’ve gotten a tattoo in the past year. What I can do is help spread love and acceptance.

Mindful Media

We all know that the media is overwhelming. We are bombarded with stories from the time we wake to the time we close our eyes. When we scroll through social media we see ads and articles about various parts of the world. News stations have endless banners scrolling at the bottom of the screen to go along with the numerous stories being covered by the anchors at the desk. We have so much information around us all the time that it is overwhelming and hard to decipher the truth. In this modern world I believe that most people choose to listen to the media because it is easy. It is easy to learn about the world simply by watching CNN, FOX, ABC or any other major outlet. But what if people tried to learn about the world from the people around them that have experienced things first hand?

What if we actually had a conversation with the person sitting next to us on the bus? What if we asked a coworker with an accent about his past and where he came from? What if we took two minutes to talk to the homeless woman on the corner to learn her story and not just assume she’s a drug addict? What if we brought cookies to work one day just to celebrate life and not because was a holiday or birthday?

I don’t buy into the Fake News idea. We can’t censor those we don’t believe in. People have the right to their own opinions but no one has the right to kill others that are different. I truly believe that it is through education and love that the world will change. When we listen to the opinions of others and share our personal experiences we open minds. Of course, people have to be willing to listen. People have to believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion. We cannot go out and hope to change minds because that is out of our control. But we can put good energy into the world. We can share our stories and smile at strangers. We can donate time, money and energy to causes we believe in.

We cannot break down stereotypes unless individuals first accept that everything they have heard on the news might not be right. That Muslims aren’t terrorists. That Catholics don’t believe in the rape of young boys. That Jews don’t believe in a secret world order. Yes, the seeds of stereotypes are planted by some level of truth. There have been ongoing terror attacks by Muslim extremists but they are just that: extremists. Thousands of children, especially young boys, have been sexually violated by Catholic priests but that doesn’t mean every priest you meet has predatory thoughts.

If we only listen to the media that agrees with our opinions or our way of life I don’t think we are being good citizens of the world. We are not growing or challenging ourselves. We are not trying to understand different perspectives and the experiences of our neighbors.

I was driving home to Michigan when the news of the Tree of Life shooting broke. I was in the middle of a podcast called Pretty Big Deal. It is hosted by supermodel Ashley Graham who has been breaking down barriers for women of size. Her guest on that episode was an activist and journalist named Noor Tagouri. I had never heard of Noor but that is because I’ve used the same platforms for my news for years. I’ll scroll through the websites of BBC and USA Today while at work. I use Apple News on my phone each morning and night. I hadn’t taken the time to research up and coming journalists who had different and unique perspectives. I learned that Noor is a hijab-wearing Muslim woman who uses her diversity to tell stories of those around her. I only made it through half of the podcast when my dad called with the news of an active shooter in my neighborhood and it wasn’t until I was driving back to Pittsburgh yesterday that I finished the episode.

What I took away from it is that we have to use our voices. We have to ask questions and learn about the people around us. We have to step outside of our comfort zones. Sometimes, we have to begin things before we are ready because that is where growth begins. Maybe you aren’t “ready” to believe that a black man tending a garden in Detroit isn’t causing a problem. Maybe you aren’t “ready” to believe that Muslim men don’t force their wives to wear a hijab. Maybe you aren’t “ready” to believe immigrants aren’t trying to leave their homes and lives due to violence and persecution. But, if you wait until you are “ready” then you may die without ever trying. So, start now. Ask questions. Listen to different ideas. Go to a public speaking on a topic that is new to you. Talk to your coworkers. Engage in conversations with people who are passionate about voting. Open your mind and learn. Be a sponge and start to be the change in the world now even if you don’t feel “ready” because “in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.”

*The photo is from Dave DiCello Photography who takes the most amazing photos of Pittsburgh.